My journey to non-monogamy, specifically polyamory, as a relationship orientation and lifestyle has been one of the most rewarding of the many I have undertaken. I believe I have learned more about myself, who I truly am, than ever. I have developed lifelong skills that help me navigate complex relationship structures. I am not perfect-…
Tag: relationship advice
It gets worse before it gets better: I was really determined at first to blog every day, but yesterday, I really needed the day off. I spent most of the morning ugly crying and even today in a quiet moment at the hair salon, I could have started crying again. Now that I am officially…
When we first started dating, my boyfriend, Said, was new to being in a polyamorous relationship. He started from a really open and curious place as a swinger and his love style definitely includes being happy (and turned on) when his partner is happy, so polyamory wasn’t a difficult concept for him to adopt. We…
I love my friends, I really do. But try as they might, they really struggled at first to understand my penchant for polyamory. More specifically they didn’t understand my relationships. I remember one time, I was sitting outside at a café, sipping a frothy cappuccino in the sunlight with one of my girlfriends, and gushing…
When I realized I preferred non-monogamy as my relationship orientation, it was as big of a surprise to me as it was to everyone around me. I grew up a very traditional Christian, and I had never heard the word polyamory, even after I had basically started practicing my relationships that way. But now I…
I just moved back to the United States at the end of the summer. That means new adventures and much excitement around finding a place of my own here. It also means after 6 years of traveling and not owning much more than two suitcases full of stuff, completely furnishing a 1,400 sq. ft apartment…
1- Not treating the process like a job Finding someone you connect with on a deeper level is no accident. It takes work and focus. Sure you can grab a glass of wine or a nice rich whisky and sit on the porch Friday night and do some casual swiping when you’re bored, but that…
****** I have been putting off posting this, it is a bit more vulnerable than maybe my usual. I am realizing this week, my first week back with DJDM, just how true it is and how much I really want to be better at this aspect of my life!****** ********** I was snuggling on the…
This morning I had a bit of a revelation about me and autonomy. Some things that seem normal and healthy to most people are not always easy to recognize or do for those of us who have learned dysfunctional relationship styles throughout their lives. Happily, I noticed one area I feel I have improved in…
GHOSTING You pretty much can’t date in today’s internet world without experiencing ghosting. We talk about it like it is a normal thing. ‘Oh, he ghosted me/you.’ The ease with which technology allows us to be immature and unkind to one another can be a little scary. Current “Ghosting” Stories Since I’ve been here in…