Go Easy on Yourself

Having Grace With Ourselves I was talking to a new friend last night. We sat in a cool Berlin cafe/bar called Kapitalist. The facade is torn up stucco, and there is no sign marking this was it. There are tables outside, and the bar is lovely, but that is where they stopped with “decorating.” The…

Justifications

Why do we always feel like we have to justify our actions, ideas, and thoughts to other people? I think women do it more than men, but it’s real. Instead of just saying, “No, thank you.” We come up with a whole host of excuses, reasons why we can’t do the thing or go to…

I Am Having Feels

I recently told my monogamous partner that it is normal to have “feels” when your partner meets someone new. Even the most experienced polyamorous people can have some wobbles and stress when they realize their partner is connecting with someone new. Not everyone is filled with compersion the minute they find out about these situations….

Having a Story

We all have a story! ********** The other day, I was talking to a friend and he said something along the lines of “I wish I knew then, what I know now.” He was referring to being more confident in relationships and being more comfortable with flirting and sexual situations. It was a fun chat…

Expectations

We all have expectations. We have the ones that were placed on us and we have the ones we place on ourselves and others. All of these can be confusing, exhausting, and sometimes comforting or helpful at various times and stages of our life. Growing up in a very strict American Evangelical home meant there…

Chasing Orgasms

Earlier this month I read a piece on orgasms by the amazing Girl on the Net (GOTN) (If you haven’t read her blog it is a pure gold mine of sex and relationship content. Some of my erotica has been featured as audio porn on her site! I highly recommend you check her out!) I read…

Before and After

Everyone has a time before and a time after. A way to delineate how life has moved forward for them… there is no going back. There is light in that liminal space between now and then, maybe the knowledge we seek hides in the not quite real construct of time. (Maybe not.) I think the…

Love in the Shape of Polyamory

I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. Being in Berlin with Stefan, having recently been in a break-up with Dex. Having more chances than usual to talk about what does polyamory and non-monogamy in general mean to me. It all comes down to love. But as I have learned on this journey- love means…