Having a Story

We all have a story!

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The other day, I was talking to a friend and he said something along the lines of “I wish I knew then, what I know now.” He was referring to being more confident in relationships and being more comfortable with flirting and sexual situations. It was a fun chat because we are just getting to know each other and he IS both comfortable and confident today, so hearing that he hasn’t always been “this guy” was an interesting piece of his past. A nice glimpse into who he is.

Listen, like it or not, we all have a  past, a story. Our stories are what make us unique, they tell us and others how we got to where we are now. Knowing your own personal character arc, and knowing where we came from can be a powerful tool to understand ourselves, or in this case, understanding someone else you have a relationship with.

After he told me this piece of his past, I said what I almost always automatically say to everyone, “But our stories are ours and we wouldn’t be us if we didn’t walk this path!” He just rolled his eyes, “I KNOW that E.L. Come on! Just let me have my moment of thinking how much BETTER it could have been along the way!”

OK- I get it. He’s not wrong. Sometimes it’s fun to imagine what “could have been.” If I had known about polyamory sooner, would I have avoided some of the mistakes I made in monogamous relationships? If I had learned to be confident with my sexual nature as a young woman, would I have had more fun? Better experiences, more experiences?

But then, if I had all of THOSE experiences, who would I be now? Is there some kind of destiny that ensures I become ME regardless of the path I traveled? Ya know how in some Sci-Fi time travel books or movies, no matter what changes in the past when the character gets back to their own original time, they are still basically the same people? Or is it like the theory that if they change anything in the past, the whole future will be changed irrevocably?

Being a storyteller myself, I market my story, my past, my present, here on the blog. I write to understand who I am and how I got here. I write so maybe my story will touch the heart of someone else, maybe they will know that they are not alone. Maybe telling our stories, even in everyday conversations, helps us to go deeper with ourselves and with those we love.

We all have a story. What’s yours?

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Here are a few other posts you might enjoy:

Coconut Oil and Outdated Notions

Chasing Orgasms

Love is Worth the Risk

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