Evolution of a Polycule- October 2019

(Links to other Evolution of a Polycule posts at the bottom.)


Getting excited! I am finally going to see my German partners real soon! It was time for an update of the polycule, so… here we go!

I recently posted this… which tells you a lot about my three partners and my “solo-poly journey…

I’m Solo-Poly: No Relationship Escalator for Me


Stefan (3 years 2 months)

There is something I just adore about this man. We have what many people would consider- limited contact. He has become more of a ‘comet’ relationship (especially since I left the country!) but that still works for us. We talk about once every three weeks, sometimes that means just a quick check-in, sometimes it means texting on and off all day (well with time differences that means a couple of hours but still…)

My Lover is a Place

I don’t need to talk to him every day or more often, I just don’t. You may have read other updates so you know that he and I have done this distance thing before. I knew him for only a month when I left the country last time and was gone for 9 months. We had a similar relationship that we have now and as soon as I got back to Berlin we picked up our “local” relationship again and grew closer. It was great and I fully expect that to happen again… with the caveat that it will only be for a month before I head off on new adventures.

Two things happened recently that, despite our distance and despite our relative lack of communication, shows me how he cares for me:

1- I told him I was going back to Germany and his first response was, “I’ll make sure you have a place to stay so you don’t have to worry about that.” I didn’t have to ask him for support or help, he saw I had a need and he told me he would meet it. He also told me to send any packages I need to his shop. (Sent a sexy new vibrator for us to check out… he already has it!)

2- I was recently in the middle of some political upheaval in Ecuador. I checked in with him so he knew I was safe. A few days later, once I was back in Colombia, he called because he heard about more unrest in Chile. A partner checking in to see you’re safe isn’t a big deal I suppose, but with our limited contact, it was nice… but the best part was at the end he said, “…and come home safely to me.” As a writer, words mean a lot to me. He said it casually, which meant even more. He wants me to be there with him. He misses me. I need to get home to him. So sweet.

Ironically, he dropped me off at the airport in February and he will be picking me up when I go back next month and I will spend the first week at his flat with him. YAY!

Benjamin (18 months)

Another long-distance partner. The difference is that even when I was in Berlin, he was long distance (he lives in Hamburg) so we have always had a more limited physical contact. He and I have been through some growing pains over the time I’ve been away, but we’ve figured out how to change our relationship to still meet each other’s needs and be content in this relationship.

He is the kind of guy who flies 8 hours to Dubai for work, when he lands, he sees  a text from me telling him I am feeling sad and lonely, so he calls while he waits for his luggage. He talks to me while he gets in the cab, checks into his hotel, and sits on the bed, exhausted and falls asleep talking to me.

He cares, and I really appreciate the way he shows it to me. He always gives me 100% when he can, and I understand when he can’t. Part of the long-distance relationship we have established.

I will spend the last week of my time in Germany in Hamburg with him. That will actually be the longest amount of time I have ever spent with him. I am looking forward to it, plus a little nervous about it!

Since I’ve been gone, he’s been on a few dates with my friend Alison. Alison is the girlfriend of my ex- William. I am actually pretty chuffed for them both. They don’t get to spend a lot of time together, as she is in Berlin too… but they had an instant of connection when they met, (at my one year “Berliniversary”) and after their last date, it sounds like the chemistry was pretty great too. I think he will see her this weekend and I will definitely be seeing her while I am in Berlin too!

DJDM (4 months)

Well, if you read any of my Week in Review posts on the other blog, you have been reading about DJDM for months now. I am madly crazy in love with him. He is my most “traditional appearing” relationship, but we have an agreement to build our relationship on being open, honest, and connected. We do pretty well with that so far.

When I am in Colombia, we live together. I will be back here in January for three months and we already found a place to live. He came to see me in Cuenca (Ecuador) when I was there a week or so ago and that was awesome!

One day while he was there, we were walking in the market and we saw some rings. When I pointed at them he immediately said, “Should we get them?”

We did! It was spontaneous, romantic, silly… I got mine ‘engraved’ with “Mi Rey” and he got his with “My Queen”. We put them on, held hands right on the street, got our faces super close to each other, (nose to nose) and told each other- we promised to continue to love each other the best we can and to always be open, honest, and connected. Then we kissed and hugged. HA! I love this guy! (Did I say that already?)

DJDM is more of a swinger than poly, but he loves my poly heart and he knows about both Benjamin and Stefan and has even given me some good advice about them. He loves me as no one else ever has, and he sees me. We have an uncanny connection that even people who have only read about our antics can tell.

I am very much looking forward to a future with him in it, visiting Medellin for big chunks of time so we can be together, and growing old with him. He is def that kind of boyfriend. We talk about the future, we plan our lives with each other. It’s fun and lovely and I am happier because he loves me and I love him. YAY! 


Other “Evolution of a Polycule” posts:

Evolution of a Polycule- Part 1

The Evolution of a Polycule, 2018 Wrap-up

Evolution of a Polycule- January 2019

The Evolution of a Polycule- March 2019

Evolution of a Polycule- June 2019 Update


Check out the sexy cool and interesting stories about “relationships” here on Wicked Wednesday!

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