Live Together, Sleep Together?

Do we need to sleep together in the same bed to have a good relationship? The idea of Separate But Together is one of my most beloved relationship concepts, yet the one that often feels the furthest from being a reality. The cultural idea of relationships doesn’t leave much room (literally) for the idea that…

Am I a Serial Polyamorist?

The question popped into my head recently: I am a “Serial Polyamorist?” Hmmm. We all know what a serial monogamist is… What Does “Serial Monogamy” Mean?- Serial monogamy is a relationship style that involves having a series of monogamous (often long-term) relationships, rather than taking solo breaks or casually dating in between. Serial monogamists feel more…

Am I Megasexual?

The other day I was re-introduced to a phrase I had heard and identified with before but hadn’t really thought much about in the time since- megasexual. For some reason, this time it resonated with me more than the last time, and I had some thoughts. As you know, when I have “thoughts,” I tend…

Sex and Polyamory

Why is sex and polyamory so often equated with being promiscuous? I was texting with a potential date on Tinder today. He was flirting with me and I was enjoying the casual banter. Then he asked me to meet up for some sexy times. (He told me in one of the first sentences that he…

Relationship Philosophies

How Non-monogamy shapes my belief system. As I approach 50 years on this earth, I realize how much my relationship philosophies have changed. In theory, the memoir I am writing (in theory- if I ever worked on it more) is about how I became the woman I am today from my traditional evangelical roots. It’s…

Men and Love

I see a man walking across the parking lot. He is of normal height, and he doesn’t stand out to me as anyone “special.” He’s holding his girlfriend’s hand and laughing. They get to the car, and he pulls her to him in an embrace, still smiling, he kisses her forehead, opens the door, and…

I Am Having Feels

I recently told my monogamous partner that it is normal to have “feels” when your partner meets someone new. Even the most experienced polyamorous people can have some wobbles and stress when they realize their partner is connecting with someone new. Not everyone is filled with compersion the minute they find out about these situations….

Facing the Facts

Facing the facts about my comet relationship. Today’s post is brought to you by the letter F. I really love that I have written every day this month. I know it’s only the 6th, but I haven’t been this consistent in a long time, and it hasn’t even been too much of a challenge to…

Baby, Babe, Sweetie, Love

Do you have a nickname in your relationship(s)? Are there cute little pet names you call each other? I have been called Babe, Honey, Sweetie, Amor, Amorcito, Kiddo, Love… My current beau, Dex, calls me Babe. He even bought me a pink baseball cap that says Babe on it. My ex in Colombia, Said, called…

Advice for the Newly Non-Monogamous

My journey to non-monogamy, specifically polyamory, as a relationship orientation and lifestyle has been one of the most rewarding of the many I have undertaken. I believe I have learned more about myself, who I truly am, than ever. I have developed lifelong skills that help me navigate complex relationship structures. I am not perfect-…