Go Easy on Yourself

Having Grace With Ourselves I was talking to a new friend last night. We sat in a cool Berlin cafe/bar called Kapitalist. The facade is torn up stucco, and there is no sign marking this was it. There are tables outside, and the bar is lovely, but that is where they stopped with “decorating.” The…

Berlin Again

Berlin. Yes, Berlin! You know, if you’ve even casually looked at the titles of the posts on this blog, that Berlin is a central theme in my life. From the first day I visited here, August 1, 2016, until now, I have been in love- with the city. It’s gritty and real. Everyone wears black,…

Am I a Serial Polyamorist?

The question popped into my head recently: I am a “Serial Polyamorist?” Hmmm. We all know what a serial monogamist is… What Does “Serial Monogamy” Mean?- Serial monogamy is a relationship style that involves having a series of monogamous (often long-term) relationships, rather than taking solo breaks or casually dating in between. Serial monogamists feel more…

Am I Megasexual?

The other day I was re-introduced to a phrase I had heard and identified with before but hadn’t really thought much about in the time since- megasexual. For some reason, this time it resonated with me more than the last time, and I had some thoughts. As you know, when I have “thoughts,” I tend…

Sex and Polyamory

Why is sex and polyamory so often equated with being promiscuous? I was texting with a potential date on Tinder today. He was flirting with me and I was enjoying the casual banter. Then he asked me to meet up for some sexy times. (He told me in one of the first sentences that he…

Relationship Philosophies

How Non-monogamy shapes my belief system. As I approach 50 years on this earth, I realize how much my relationship philosophies have changed. In theory, the memoir I am writing (in theory- if I ever worked on it more) is about how I became the woman I am today from my traditional evangelical roots. It’s…

Men and Love

I see a man walking across the parking lot. He is of normal height, and he doesn’t stand out to me as anyone “special.” He’s holding his girlfriend’s hand and laughing. They get to the car, and he pulls her to him in an embrace, still smiling, he kisses her forehead, opens the door, and…

Justifications

Why do we always feel like we have to justify our actions, ideas, and thoughts to other people? I think women do it more than men, but it’s real. Instead of just saying, “No, thank you.” We come up with a whole host of excuses, reasons why we can’t do the thing or go to…